(Although I think this post would be more entertaining with pictures--stock pictures from the internet, not my own photos--I can't bring myself to; it's just not funny yet.)
5 weeks ago: I was out watering our lawn and gave a little scream (that's a lie--it wasn't little) as I saw a little mouse scurry from behind our garden box into our neighbors yard. I made Royce come out and he saw the mouse scurry back in and out the other side of the our yard. Feeling violated and vulnerable, I called my dad and asked him what we should do. He reassured me that they were only field mice and calmed my fears of whether they would destroy our (surprisingly) thriving garden. He counseled us to set traps in our garage and other key points in our house in case they decided to try and move in, but that there wasn't much he could do about them outside since we live next to a park.
4 weeks ago: Our HOA emailed us to say that the exterminators were coming to spray for voles and that they would put poison in holes in our yard and in trenches. Royce asked me if we needed to have them come to our house. I told him no, we don't have voles. I hadn't noticed any holes or trenches in our yard.
3 weeks ago: I was out in our yard, trying to train our tomato plant to go up the vine we've kindly provided for it. Not 6 inches from where my hand was, a mouse came out of nowhere and scurried along the fence. This time I screamed bloody murder. I think everyone in the neighborhood heard me. I told Royce he had to go water the lawn for me, but he said I was overreacting. With my back against our sliding door, I tried watering the lawn, only to see the mouse scurry by again. I screamed, dropped the hose, and ran inside and told Royce I was not going back out there. I told him to go and turn off the hose. He did, and he acted just as nervous as I was; overreacting my foot. (Sidenote, as we were going to bed we couldn't figure out why it sounded like water was running. Finally, I ventured outside again and realized the hose was on, full-blast. I asked Royce if he had really turned the hose off. He said, "Yeah, I turned it all the way off; lefty-loosey, right?" Oh Royce.)
2 1/2 weeks ago: Saturday morning, after waking up early with high hopes of being productive, I discovered that our strawberries, which were looking beautiful and actually growing, had been eaten (my dad lied). After seeing one too many of these guys scurrying by (okay, it was probably just one) I again bolted for the safety of indoors and then spent the next couple of hours scouring the internet trying to figure out how to take care of these creatures, once and for all. I discovered, among other things, that voles and field mice are the same thing (guess we should have had the exterminator come spray). I also read that cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, certain herbs, etc. would make them stay away. I also spent an hour looking for cats on KSL. Once Royce got up, I, tearfully, dramatically, told him how frustrated I was and begged him to go put out the cayenne pepper. He did. Also, as we were running errands we picked up some traps (the kind where you can't see the dead mouse once you've caught it). When we got home we baited them with PB and confidently put them out where we had seen the voles.
2 weeks ago: Voles apparently don't mind cayenne pepper. They ate our entire bean plant; it was over a foot high. Our traps so far had proved useless. They had attracted ants, but no voles. And we definitely have several holes and trenches by now.
1 1/2 weeks ago: I finally called the exterminator and made an appointment for them to come back. Occasionally I would spot one and tried to get Royce to smash it with a shovel, but they were always too fast for him.
1 week ago: The exterminator came and said that the previous exterminator shouldn't have sprayed because of x, y and z, because we're next to a water way and that he was going to talk to our HOA about putting in a barrier. He set out some sticky traps. On my way home from work that day they ran a story on KSL radio about the vole problem in our area and how frustrated residents are that the city wasn't doing anything about the problem.
6 days ago: Royce was home early from work getting ready to go on a trip, and saw them blasting away parts of the hill leading down to the water way (or smoking it or something; I know he said there were little explosions). He also saw them looking at the big green plastic utility looking thing on the city property. When I got home he showed me the many holes going under the green thing and from a distance we could see voles scurrying in and out. Shudder. The green thing is apparently their breeding grounds.
4 days ago: I was talking to my mom about our problem and she told me about the traps they use for mice. She kindly brought some over. (I also looked for cats again on KSL--I don't really want a cat, but it sure would be handy.) That evening, as I prepared to set the traps outside, I saw one right smack in the middle of our yard, eating our grass (usually they scurry along the fence). Totally unaware of me, he came closer to the house and was trying to eat our rubber mulch. I grabbed the nearby shovel, and sneaking up behind it, prepared to smash it. I hesitated several times, and then finally whacked it as hard as I could (with a little cry of alarm as I actually made contact with my target). The little creature flipped over on its back with little legs flailing in the air. It continued to flail for several seconds, not dying. I didn't know what to do. I decided to try and put the little creature out of its misery and so I whacked it again, but it still didn't stop flailing. I dropped the shovel and ran inside, tears in my eyes. I called Royce and told him that he should have been the one smashing it with a shovel. He asked if I was crying, and I said yes, I'm a horrible person, I just killed one of God's creatures, brutally and forcefully. Once he realized that I was genuinely upset he tried to comfort me. After I got off the phone, I tried to not think about it as I made dinner, but I kept thinking about it and bawled. I begged God for forgiveness and asked Him to make the voles go away. Eventually I mustered the courage to go outside and scoop the dead little thing into a plastic sack. Then I went about setting the traps.
3 days ago: Royce came home and by that time we had caught one vole in our traps. I made him get it out of the trap. We reset the trap and washed our hands vigorously.
2 days ago: As I went out into the yard to water, I noticed that we had caught 2 more. Since Royce wouldn't have time to help me by the time he woke up, I set about emptying the traps myself. I re-baited one and reset both traps.
Yesterday: In the morning, it looked like there was one dead vole. I didn't have time to do anything about it though. By the time I got home from work, there were two more that were caught. I gaggingly cleaned up all three.
Today: When I looked out our window, we didn't have any dead voles. But when I went out to open our gate for the exterminators (who are apparently coming to the neighborhood again) I noticed that one of the traps was closed. But it didn't look like anything was trapped (part of the trap was under the fence and not visible). I grabbed the back of the trap to reset it, and screamed and let go as I realized that there was a still flailing vole on the other end. When I let go, it sent the thing partially under the fence we share with our neighbor. I think the flailing vole ended up on their side . . . Sorry!
Tomorrow: The exterminators will have sufficiently poisoned all voles in the area and we will never see another one. Right, right? Shudder. It's so gross and awful, I can't talk about it anymore.